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New Zealand vs Pakistan: Pakistan's Humiliating Collapse at 91 – A Sarcastic Take

byUSVoiceHub Published:

 Pakistan's cricket history has witnessed many highs and lows, but their latest encounter with New Zealand added a brand-new chapter in the book of embarrassing performances. In what can only be described as a comedy of errors, Pakistan managed to get bundled out for a paltry 91, leaving fans shaking their heads and critics sharpening their knives.

A Masterclass in Batting – Or Lack Thereof

Pakistan’s batting lineup, which was supposedly built to withstand any bowling attack, crumbled like a house of cards in a gentle breeze. Facing a disciplined Kiwi attack, Pakistan's batsmen seemed to be in a rush to get back to the pavilion, possibly for an early lunch.

Let’s take a look at some of the highlights (or should we say lowlights?) of this spectacular meltdown:

  • Top-order surrender: Pakistan’s openers, who were expected to set the foundation, instead decided to give catching practice to the New Zealand fielders.

  • Middle-order misery: The middle-order’s idea of resistance was playing half-hearted shots straight to waiting fielders.

  • Tailenders with no tail: By the time the lower order walked in, there was as much hope as a melting snowman in the desert.

New Zealand’s Bowling Brilliance or Pakistan’s Batting Horror Show?

Credit where it’s due—New Zealand's bowlers were ruthless, precise, and effective. But let’s not ignore the generous assistance provided by Pakistan’s batsmen, who seemed determined to make their task easier.

  • Trent Boult and Tim Southee turned into magicians, making the ball swing like a pendulum. Pakistan’s batsmen, however, played as if they had never encountered a moving ball before.

  • Ish Sodhi and Mitchell Santner ensured that even spin bowling looked unplayable. Pakistan’s response? Wild swings and mistimed shots.

Record Books and Unwanted Entries

Getting bowled out for 91 is not just a loss, it’s a statement, and unfortunately for Pakistan, it’s a statement they keep making too often. With this performance, they have added yet another forgettable entry in their long list of batting collapses.

Some fun facts from this disaster:

  • 91 all out is among Pakistan’s lowest totals in recent years. No surprises there.

  • Extras outscored several batsmen—when the opposition’s generosity is your top scorer, it’s time for serious introspection.

  • More ducks than a pond—several Pakistan batsmen came and went without troubling the scorers, making it look more like a nature documentary than a cricket match.

The Aftermath: Excuses, Blame Game, and Fan Reactions

As expected, the post-match discussions in Pakistan’s cricketing circles were full of excuses and justifications. Some classics include:

  • "The pitch was difficult." – It seemed perfectly fine when New Zealand was batting, though!

  • "The conditions didn’t favor us." – Because swinging and spinning deliveries only work against Pakistan, right?

  • "The players need more time to adjust." – How much more time? A decade?

Meanwhile, social media exploded with reactions from disappointed fans. Some gems include:

  • “Even my neighborhood team would’ve put up a better fight.”

  • “This batting lineup can’t chase their own shadows, let alone a total!”

  • “Can we get refunds for wasted time?”

Moving Forward – Or Not?

What’s next for Pakistan? If history is anything to go by, there will be a series of team meetings, some reshuffling, a couple of new excuses, and ultimately, another repeat performance in the near future.

Pakistan's cricket team has a habit of surprising us—but unfortunately, these days, the surprises are usually disappointing, shocking, and tragicomic all at once. Unless there is some serious introspection and change, Pakistan’s cricket fans better get used to watching such batting collapses on a regular basis.

For now, all we can do is sit back, laugh a little, and wonder: Was this an international cricket match or a comedy show?

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